Are your friends holding you back? It’s so important to surround yourself with positive and like-minded people.

If you put one crab in a bucket, it can claw its way up and out;

But if you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, and one of them tries to climb out, all the other crabs attempt to pull it back into the bucket. It gets worse. If that crab tries to climb out a second time, the other crabs pull it down, but not only that, they may begin to break its claws to completely hinder its progress or chance of escape again. Crabs don’t know how to be team players; they’re “all for none, and none for all.” They all work against each other, and no one ends up winning.

Does this sound familiar? Have you seen this ‘crab bucket’ mentality at work, at the gym, or maybe even at home?

Why do humans act like crabs when they see someone else do something phenomenal, something badass, or win something?

Why are we holding them back, or ‘upstory’ them to make their achievement look less significant or outstanding?

Especially in the fitness industry, so many of us are guilty of it. We see a friend get a supplement or clothing sponsor, and we don’t wish them a “Congrats”, or we down play the success. Or, we book a killer shoot with a photographer and don’t share information about how to get submitted into a magazine with friends, because we don’t want THEM to be submitted into the same mag.

So often, we’re guilty of not spreading the love and holding people back for fear that other people will steal the spotlight or take our chance from us.

But just as the ‘crab bucket’ mentality is a thing, so too is the expression about a candle and it’s flame;

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

People cannot survive or succeed in life by not receiving assistance from other people. The expression means that if you assist someone, you lose nothing by doing so in the process. We need to start lifting each other up more. Sharing more of our successes, and rejoicing in our friends’ victories, which will (hopefully) spread positive vibes that bring even MORE successes and victories.

Energy vampires are just that; vampires that suck energy and happiness from us. But energy generators are those people who seem to always have a compliment, a boost of motivation, or a helpful tip that’ll lead to more positivity for you. We need to make sure our small/tight circles have more generators than vampires, and more candles than crabs.